by ash mcelroy
(@ashwithaplan on instagram!)
I'm not as broken anymore But there's still a long road for me ahead Was it this hard before?
I still stand in front of the mirror and long to see more I still wish I was someone else instead But I'm not as broken anymore
Recovery is starting to feel like a chore I still crave spending my days in bed Was it this hard before?
Outside the rain starts to pour I know it's the weather messing with my head But I'm not as broken anymore
I recall happier days; days when I seemed to soar Days I didn't wish I were dead Was it this hard before?
I almost feel like a part of me tore "Your old self will return", they said But I'm not as broken anymore Was it this hard before?
a note from the artist,
My piece is called "a villanelle", and was written in the midst of a particularly bad bout of seasonal depression. At the time, I was writing poetry left and write, just to get the bad thoughts out of my head and onto paper (or more realistically, into my notes app). This is really the only piece that came out of that time that I'm actually proud of.